Friendship Group Meeting

The first meeting of the Faces of Loss Friendship Group in my area was last night.  Only one other babyloss mom showed.  We enjoyed a nice dinner at Brio and talked about our struggles and our babies.  She lost twin girls, she brought a picture book with pictures of her girls with herself and her husband...it was so precious.  I often wish I had seen my son.  I wish I had been able to see his face and tell him that I loved him and always will, even though he wouldn't have been alive when I saw or held him.  He knows I do, I tell him all the time.  I had an amazing time talking about him and listening to Jackie's story and struggle with emotions and infertility (I didn't enjoy listening to her struggle and pain, just that we had something in common and we could share with one another).  I have several members of my immediate family that I can talk to about all of these issues I have frequently and anytime I want.  But I have to say it was nice to have an "outsider" (outside my family) talk to me and listen and understand as only babyloss moms can.  I am blessed and thankful I have Lori, Lana, and Shannon in my family that I can openly talk to about my loss as they have been through it themselves.  Jackie wasn't as "lucky" (I say with quotes because I never wish this hardship on anyone...so there is no good really in this "luck").  She didn't have anyone close she could run to and talk to about every thought and feeling she was having. 

I left the dinner feeling as if I had made a new friend that I can share my emotional struggles with as well as the joys in our lives.  This was one of the very best groups I could have started/joined.  I am so blessed to have this in my life right now as I sometimes have sad days worrying about Layla...I worry about her making it to me like the others.  I know in my heart she is coming and will live her life with us and grow old with us!  I am so in love with her already I cannot imagine not getting to meet another baby.  She's coming, her big brother knows just how much we want her.  He knows how much we wanted him and his big brother or sister, but God had much bigger plans for them.  I am excited to meet with more babyloss moms and get more people to join and talk and have people in our lives who know exactly what we are going through!


Isaiah's baby sister

I've waited for quite some time to say anything on here and that is mainly the reason I have been staying away from here and not posting much in the past couple months.  Isaiah is going to be a big brother soon.  Layla Rae is due to enter this world just 4 days after Isaiah's first birthday.  This has been such a surreal experience this time.  The joy overwhelms the fear most of the time...but occasionally I get worried and stressed and wonder if I am actually going to get to look into her eyes and touch her.  Her original due date was the SAME day as Isaiah's birthday...that was NOT a coincidence, none of this is.  I believe he made it to Jesus and told him that his mommy and daddy are really sad and I think he asked Him to give us another gift, another baby.  Not every baby that is born gets and extra special angel in heaven, but mine does.  She has an angel that knows what mommy's heart feels and sounds like from inside. Her angel knows what mommy's voice sounds like.  Her angel knows the love and care mommy takes to keep her safe.  Her angel knows the love that both mommy and daddy still feel and will always feel. They already share so much. 

We have had many doctor appointments and everything is right on track and absolutely perfect.  She is going to make it, I just know it!  She is going to keep on our toes for the rest of our lives.  And she always has a big brother that will watch out for her every step of the way!

Isaiah, please take care of her while she is waiting to get here.  I am sure God has already told you what great plans he has for her, You are doing a great job taking care of her so far.  We love you and miss you everyday!



I am planning the very first meeting of the Faces of Loss Friendship group that I started in my part of the world.  2 wonderful women who share the same sorrow I do will be meeting with me for dinner to talk about our babies!!  I am actually very excited about this....I am in a place now where I can talk about my losses and I would love to hear what other women have struggled with as well.  Hearing what other women have had to endure puts so many things in perspective.  I will update how the meeting goes, I am sure it will be amazing and wonderful to be with other women who share my feelings.