The first meeting of the Faces of Loss Friendship Group in my area was last night. Only one other babyloss mom showed. We enjoyed a nice dinner at Brio and talked about our struggles and our babies. She lost twin girls, she brought a picture book with pictures of her girls with herself and her husband...it was so precious. I often wish I had seen my son. I wish I had been able to see his face and tell him that I loved him and always will, even though he wouldn't have been alive when I saw or held him. He knows I do, I tell him all the time. I had an amazing time talking about him and listening to Jackie's story and struggle with emotions and infertility (I didn't enjoy listening to her struggle and pain, just that we had something in common and we could share with one another). I have several members of my immediate family that I can talk to about all of these issues I have frequently and anytime I want. But I have to say it was nice to have an "outsider" (outside my family) talk to me and listen and understand as only babyloss moms can. I am blessed and thankful I have Lori, Lana, and Shannon in my family that I can openly talk to about my loss as they have been through it themselves. Jackie wasn't as "lucky" (I say with quotes because I never wish this hardship on anyone...so there is no good really in this "luck"). She didn't have anyone close she could run to and talk to about every thought and feeling she was having.
I left the dinner feeling as if I had made a new friend that I can share my emotional struggles with as well as the joys in our lives. This was one of the very best groups I could have started/joined. I am so blessed to have this in my life right now as I sometimes have sad days worrying about Layla...I worry about her making it to me like the others. I know in my heart she is coming and will live her life with us and grow old with us! I am so in love with her already I cannot imagine not getting to meet another baby. She's coming, her big brother knows just how much we want her. He knows how much we wanted him and his big brother or sister, but God had much bigger plans for them. I am excited to meet with more babyloss moms and get more people to join and talk and have people in our lives who know exactly what we are going through!