I'm Back and We are Changing!

Well it has been an interesting few months here in my life, in my family, and in my home. I am back to blogging and am going to try and make the effort to blog at least 2 times weekly if not more.  I have a busy life with a new baby (2 months old) and my husband and I both work full-time (I don't go back to work until May 7th from maternity leave and I dread that day already) and Aaron is a full-time student.  He went back to school nearly 2 years ago to maintain a bachelors degree in middle child education for science and social studies and achieve a minor in history.  He is an amazing student and works hard to get good grades among all the other activities and responsibilities he has. 

We are trying to adopt a schedule that works for everyone in the house... it is not easy getting a baby to do what you want her do and when you want her to do it.  :)  She is the joy of our life  as we have had a few disappointments you could say in the past couple years.  Life is trending up and we are excited about how things are changing and moving forward for us. 

When I say we are changing I mean the blog...it will no longer be a blog of sadness and grief but one about our family, I will continue to mention my babies I don't get to hold and love on because I still miss both of them every single day.  But in an effort to move forward and not overshadow the joy our daughter brings to our life with the grief we clouded our life with for months and months, I am changing the tone of this blog to a joyous and grateful one.  I look forward to sharing our journey as a family with you all...until next time!  :)

Been So Long...New Life in My Life

I had our little baby girl on Valentines Day!!!  She is beautiful and the biggest joy of my entire life!!  It has been forever since I have blogged and I will be back on here on a regular basis, but as you can imagine with a new baby I am a busy lady!!!

Here is a picture of her to hold you over :) 
Layla Rae February 14, 2012 ~ 7lbs, 14oz and 20 inches long

Okay I have not updated anything in quite a while.  Today I am 37 weeks pregnant and I am more than ready to meet this little lady.  I am terribly nervous to go through the process to actually get her here, I have so many fears (most of which are crazy, weird, never happen sorts of scenarios) but I can't stop thinking about it.  My husband is starting to get really anxious and very nervous.  I have had some "pains" that make me feel as though she is making progress towards her birthday and I had a contraction today...just one which I thought was weird, but I guess from what I read is normal for this point. 

In 17 days we "celebrate" Isaiah's 1st birthday and we won't be there to visit him and take him flowers or be where he physically is on that day.  My mom is going to take him flowers and visit him since we can't.  I pray that Layla makes it here safely and perfectly, but I pray that she does not come on her brothers birthday.  I really don't want her to share birthdays with him...I don't want to have a sad day when it is her special day.  It would be bittersweet.  Maybe more bitter than sweet.

I will try to keep this blog updated the closer we get...here's to counting down to a safe delivery of a perfectly beautiful baby girl!

Thanksgiving

I am so very thankful for all that I have this Thanksgiving.  I have an amazing husband who loves me more than I probably know and I love him more than he probably knows.  We have a wonderful and glorious gift from God on her way and she couldn't be more perfect and healthy right now (10 weeks to go!)  We have a nice warm home, jobs, food, and many seemingly insignificant blessings that many are without this time of year.  We have an amazing family that has been by our side through probably the hardest year of our lives and we couldn't be more grateful.  It is easy to get bogged down in the tragedies of this past year and it can be really hard to find things for which to be thankful. 

I think for us it is easier to find things to be thankful for because we lost what could have been a terrific little man and with the grace of God we have been blessed to have another child within this same year as the tragedy that shook our world almost 10 months ago.  God is so amazing and has given Aaron and I the opportunity once again to be parents. 

We had an ultrasound today and Layla is a very chubby, healthy looking young lady!!  We can't wait to meet her, but she has a little more growing left to do!  We couldn't be more blessed this holiday season to have her on her way and add her to our family that has been through the ringer this past year!

Happy Thanksgiving All!

Layla Rae

She is still just perfect and growing and moving!!  How have we been so blessed this time?  I often wonder why? though....why didn't we get Isaiah, but we get Layla? Why one, but not the others?  I am so terribly excited that she is doing so well and that I get to meet her very soon, please don't find this to be a complaint, it is not.  I am still a grieving mother with fears and questions. 

We got pregnant with Layla just 2.5 months after Isaiah was born and her due date is just 4 days after Isaiah's first birthday (I don not believe in coincidences, but I do believe in divine intervention).  We knew we wanted children and it had been a bit of a struggle for us to get any of the pregnancies, it took nearly 4 years of "trying" on our own before we sought help and found the problem. We were young and not in a tremendous hurry the first few years.  After all that it took almost a year to conceive the first baby after we lost that baby, it took 6 months to get pregnant with Isaiah.  We were determined to be parents, we knew we could get pregnant and the doctors had given us no inclination that we couldn't do this on our own.  So we kept trying instead of searching out alternatives.  We discussed what we would do if it never happened for us naturally.  We would adopt. 

I am so lucky to have such an amazing husband who has been so supportive (sometimes glass half empty, but I can't blame him for that).  He has been to all but 2 appointments with me throughout all 3 pregnancies.  I had to go alone today and I have to admit I was a bit scared.  But on the drive over I had the radio on and could feel my little girl just dancing away so she was with me and she was able to comfort me this time when her daddy couldn't be with me!  I am so blessed and oh so thankful for all I have been given.  I am even thankful for the things that have been taken from me, it took me a while to get here, but I am.  God taught me an awful lot about myself through those trying times and it brought Aaron and I so much closer together. 

Praise Be To God!  None of this is possible without Him!